Author: spk68

These things only happen to poets… or Adventures in oddity in Atlantic City, New Jersey…

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We must get to the Boardwalk!

We must have our dose of
cheap sunglasses,
knock off designer handbags,
cardboard cheese pizza,
salt water taffy
and 3 for $10 T-shirts!

We need to lose some
more money in the slot machines
and playing the rigged carnival
games of skill!

We must have tanned athletic
youths push our fat, widening middle class
asses from hither to yon!

We were on our way to the Boardwalk when…
we walked smack into a Roman Catholic parade
assembling in the parking lot of our hotel. Taxis,
buses and jitneys waited in a long line trying to leave
the lot to get their fares to their important destinations.

The parade started…off key…
Ave Maria…Ave Mariaaaaaaaaa.

It was heading toward the Boardwalk, so we joined in.
The devoted wheeled Mary down Michigan Avenue,
she was festooned with dollar bills. A large man
moved through the flock, leading them in prayer,
a prayer in delayed stereo:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

We walked along, but did not join in the stereo prayer.

It was then I noticed, that the Atlantic City Police Department
had stopped all traffic which intersected our route. In effect we
were on a walking Expressway to the Boardwalk. The fast track baby!
The fast uninterrupted track to cheap sunglasses, knock off designer handbags,
cardboard cheese pizza, salt water taffy and 3 for $10 T-shirt!
We waved at the stopped motorists and the workers of all sorts that peered
curiously at our motley parade from windows and front stoops.

Driven by the fervor and frenzy of the event,
we finally joined in the stereo prayer with slight variation:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou who stopped the traffic,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, Stopper of the Traffic,
pray for us sinners now and at the hour when we place
our chips on 34 Red.

Amen.

14 steps

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14 steps could
cross a four lane
highway
or
barely
transport one
half way across
the micron width
of a razor blade.

Is it mere
physical stride
that determines
this?

Or is
sanity
ready
with a
jesting
meanful
nudge?

The avocado plant and mourning Steve…

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apologies to Jack Gilbert

Will you search for my hair?
In the drain?
Under the refrigerator?
In slashed and dissected vacuum cleaner bags?
From my silent clothes in the unopened closet?
In the soil of my re-potted avocado plant?

If not, what’s on your schedule?
Ritual self harm?
Scream therapy?
Stage dive into my coffined grave?
Renewal and refinement of your agoraphobic tendencies?
Comfort in strange well muscled embrace?

If so, I best go check into cultivating an avocado plant or two.

By the way, the word avocado has its root in the
Aztec, ahuacatl, testicle.

Will you think of the dead me when you re-pot my testicle plant?

I do know that after reading this poem, you’ll never look an avocado in the
store or a bowl of guacamole or a California roll or Cobb
salad or even the word avocado in the eye without thinking:
AHUACATL,
TESTICLE,
BALLS!

So ponder not the dead me nor search for my hair
think instead of the sweet joys I bequeathed thee!

AVACADO,
AHUACATL,
TESTICLE,
BALLS!

Lucinda Williams “Essence”

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This Ain’t Yer Mama’s Sequel

Those of you looking for Car Wheels II, buy a beer and hit the blue highway back to Jackson. With a few exceptions, this album is a major departure from the wandering blues troubadour style of Williams’ Grammy winning effort of three years ago.

This album is a bold move. It would have been all too easy for Williams to make like Betty Crocker or for that matter Phil Collins, break out the cookie cutters, make an easy, money making sequel, and keep pumping out Wheels II, Wheels III, Wheels Infinity, die happy and wealthy. Luckily, easy and greed do not seem to be in William’s vocabulary.

Indeed, given the expectations of her past success, many listeners/devotees will scorn this effort, wanting that easily accessible blues tinged rock Car Wheels vibe. I say…screw the lot. People will be listening to this CD and appreciating its understated beauty as long as the unique over the top blue brilliance of Car Wheels.

So everyone always wants to know…what were the cool songs? WE MUST HAVE SINGLES!! I say… this is not one single…nor two…nor three…It is an album…in the truest sense…There are gems… there are throwaways…but the whole supercedes. Having said that, “Broken Butterflies,” is hallucinogenic, remarkable and utterly beautiful. Consider it my failing for having mentioned it above others equally deserving on this CD.

As a final aside, I am possessed with the idea of sharing this album with a lover on a quiet Sunday morning, smoking a little herb, drinking mimosas (cheap champagne of course.) enjoying ourselves, backed by the sweet and biting undulations of this album.

I would definitely suggest sharing the magic of this album with others. Buy early, buy often and spread the joy!

–Steven P. Kramer

Tenacious D, “Tenacious D”

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Tenacious D is the Greatest Band on the Earth. Really, it is.

If you thought that righteous rock with kick-ass hilarious lyrics about sex, food and satan was gone forever, take heart, for the D is here. This is the first studio recording of this hard-rocking duo made up of Jack Black and Kyle Gass. Both are actors as well as musicians and appeared in a few short episodes of an HBO comedy show called “Mr Show,” while touring and making themselves imfamous across the land.

Jack Black has had small roles in many tv shows and movies but is best known for his scene stealing performance as Barry, the Champion Records clerk in “High Fidelity,” where he shocked the world with his memorable version of “Let’s Get It On.” All of the comic and musical talent he poured into Barry is evident on this cd. Kyle’s good too.

There are many great moments on this cd, but probably the only one that could be made into a single is the mighty “Wonderboy.” It’s an epic ballad of a super-hero, his arch nemesis, Nasty Man, and his ultimate quest to rise above the mucky-muck.

The only bad thing was they didn’t include my favorite D song, “Cosmic Shame,” about the dangers of following your bliss. Oh well, it’s still great.

Go buy it now and get ready to cream your jeans.

–Kim Boston

The Night Torn Mad with Footstepsby Charles Bukowski

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It has become a yearly autumn ritual, as the leaves turn here in the Northeast, Black Sparrow Press releases another posthumous collection of Charles Bukowski’s poetry. Having always respected Bukowski’s unique brand of scabrous realism, I have always looked forward to these new collections to ruminate over while drinking beer on a Sunday morning while other people attended church. I have already been told that there is a seat in Hell already embossed with my ass print, so why not live it up a bit?

The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps is the latest of Bukowski’s dead autumn leaves to fall from the Black Sparrow tree. Please forgive me if I toss it into the head high leaf pile that sits out front of my neighbor’s house (like I would bother raking leaves) that awaits the Highway Department’s orange leaf sucking elephant on wheels.

I tried to like it. I tried to find the handful of either good or great poems that justified the existence of the other collections published since Bukowski’s death in 1994. I just could not manage it.

My biggest gripe is that, there are several poems included in The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps that have appeared almost verbatim in other previously published collections. Consequently, Bukowski comes off not as a bitter sharp-tongued iconoclast, but rather more like someone’s poor elderly uncle that cannot remember that he has already told a story seven times since breakfast.

Clearly, the archive well that Bukowski left is running dry. I cannot say I would recommend The Night Torn Mad with Footsteps nor would I conclude that this offering will be left standing in 15 or 20 years, but, as always, have a look for yourself and decide.

–Steven Kramer

Tori Amos, “Strange Little Girls”

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After five original albums and the birth of her daughter, Tori Amos has cast off the girlishness that occasionally found its way into her earlier work. This is, by far, her most mature work yet, an album that features songs originally written by men about women.

However, these are not traditional cover songs. The twelve songs in this album may be better defined as interpretations-they sound nothing like the original versions and fittingly so. Amos provides another view and dimension to these songs, forcing the listener to take a step back and re-evaluate what they mean. In several instances, she strips them down to a deceptively simpler version featuring only piano and vocal. She even goes as far as creating a separate character for each song through the photography in the CD booklet, which is worth the price of the CD alone!

Listening to this album is an overwhelming experience. As intimately personal as any of her previous efforts, one can not help but be drawn into the world of Strange Little Girls. From the disturbing violence of “97 Bonnie and Clyde” in which she whispers a tale of a man who murdered his wife. To the tender beauty of Tom Waits’ “Time”, this album covers a broad spectrum of emotions and themes that one needs to listen to numerous times to appreciate.

The album truly begins in “New Age” where she declares “oh, you sick little fucks, yes, it’s the beginning of a new age”, and ends with this contemplative line from “Real Men,” “but now and then we wonder who the real men are…”

Fans of Neil Young or the Beatles may be bewildered to hear her sharp electronic cover of “Heart of Gold” and the ten-minute epic “Happiness is a Warm Gun.”

Considering all this, it may at first be an intimidating listen. I suggest tuning out everything else in your life and allowing yourself to be drawn into Strange Little Girls, an exploration of what it means to be a man (or a woman) and the relationships between the two genders.

Buy it, enjoy it, listen to it repeatedly and regardless of your gender, prepare to be changed.

–Agnes Makar

Track List:

1. New Age – Originally Performed By The Velvet Underground
2. 97′ Bonnie & Clyde – Originally Performed By Eminem
3. Strange Little Girl – Originally Performed By The Stanglers
4. Enjoy The Silence – Originally Performed By Depeche Mode
5. I’m Not In Love – Originally Performed By 10cc
6. Rattlesnakes – Originally Performed By Lloyd Cole And The Commotions
7. Time – Originally Performed By Tom Waits
8. Heart Of Gold – Originally Performed By Neil Young
9. I Don’t Like Mondays – Originally Performed By The Boomtown Rats
10. Happiness Is A Warm Gun – Originally Performed By The Beatles
11. Raining Blood – Originally Performed By Slayer
12. Real Men – Originally Performed By Joe Jackson

Poor Poet’s Meals: Marley’s Caribe Cucumber Salad

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Ingredient List:

1 Hothouse cucumber quartered and sliced (I like these because they are seedless and the rind is not bitter, which saves peeling time and adds extra vitamins and minerals for healthy poetic skin, hair and bones)

1 small onion thinly sliced
3 plum tomatoes quartered and sliced
3-4 radishes thinly sliced
¼ TSP Celery Salt
Salt
Fresh Cracked Pepper

Dressing:

3 TBS Olive Oil
1 TBS Rice Wine Vinegar
2 TSP Dark Corn Syrup
Dash or two Allspice
Dash or two Cinnamon
Dash or two Nutmeg

In a large bowl combine cucumber, tomatoes, onion and radishes. Mix well. Add salt, pepper and celery salt and toss together. I don’t give any measurements for salt and pepper, add to your taste.

In a separate bowl whisk together olive oil, vinegar and corn syrup slowly add allspice, nutmeg and cinnamon. Go easy, these can easily overpower the dish. Whisk well to ensure there are no spice lumps or someone will get a big blast of flavor.

Add dressing and toss until salad is well coated with the dressing. I like to let the salad rest in the fridge for an hour or two to let the flavors marry together and for the onions to become limp. Adjust seasoning if necessary before serving.

Options…I would have liked to add some fresh well minced ginger, but I was fresh out. The daring among you might try switching out the corn syrup for molasses, though I would probably cut the amount in half if I used molasses. Oh…and some diced jalapeno pepper couldn’t hurt.

Poor Poet’s Meals:Rimbaud Ragout

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Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef (turkey works for the calorie conscious and for you vegetarians, leave it out.)
1 large can whole tomatoes (pear shaped works best, but whatever your market has)
1 large can beans (take your pick, kidney beans, frijoles negros, chick peas)
1 large onion coarsely chopped
2-3 cloves of garlic (the more the better in my estimation. but not everyone loves garlic.yet.)
2 TBS dried Oregano
Pasta (you choose shape and serving size)
1-2 TBS Fresh herbs (pick one or two for that matter tarragon, thyme, oregano, basil)
Salt and Pepper to taste.

Directions:
In a skillet, brown ground beef. You can use a couple of TBS of olive oil if need be, but if you are a frugal poet, you will have bought the cheapest ground beef you can find and there will be plenty of fat content to easily brown the meat. Due to the lean nature of turkey, the ground turkey types should use the oil. Drain off any excess oil.

In a separate skillet, sautee off the onions until translucent adding the garlic about halfway through the process. Please don’t burn your garlic. It gets rather mean and bitter about being burned.

In a bowl crush up the can of whole tomatoes with your fingers. So squishy. So much like five year old fun. Add the tomatoes to the ground beef. And let the beef and tomatoes simmer for ten minutes. Add the onion and garlic mixture from the other skillet as well as the oregano and the can of beans. Stir well to combine.

While the condimento (sauce) is simmering, prepare your favorite pasta. I have found I like simple elbow macaroni for this. It cooks fast and has lots of places for the sauce and flavors to go. Cook the pasta until the famed “al dente” texture is achieved. Drain the pasta and return to the pan over very low heat. Add the fresh herbs and stir allowing the herbs to release their flavors. Now is a good time too, if you like things spicy, to add some crushed red pepper. After you have stirred the herbs for a minute or so, start adding your sauce a little at a time. Add enough sauce to coat the pasta, more if you like “saucy” pasta. Plate up, sprinkle lightly with parmesan cheese and enjoy.

Tip: I prefer cooking up only enough pasta for one meal. Reheated pasta often turns to mush or worse. And it’s better to reheat your sauce and add some new ingredients while your pasta boils. Innovate I always say! See the side of the pasta box/bag for serving size guidelines.

Warren Zevon battles Tha’ Gangstas

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So exactly what the fuck am I supposed to do.

Sitting here listening to Warren belt out “I’m looking for the next best thing…” Knowing the next best thing for him will be heaven, hell or nothing at all. Inoperable lung cancer. And Snoop Dog thought he had problems when, “murder was the case that they gave me.” How about looking down the double barrel of no way out you prick? It’s all balls to the wall when you’re a gambling gangster, not knowing when the bullets are going to fly and send you away forever.

It’s another monster entirely…to know. To sit across a desk and hear that you WILL be dead in a year, six months, two months, two weeks no matter what you do. No escape. No fire exit. You’re burnt as forgotten toast in a diner’s toaster oven. I wonder where the courage and braggadocio would be then. Or would you whimper and wonder why like a snot nosed little kid? Hell if I know. I have my suspicions.

Courage has many facets, my own thought is that indifferent arrogance or bravado in the face of a random or intended act of violence is not real courage. Real courage comes from staring down the barrel of eventuality, satisfying the premature sentence that birth implies. Knowing and still living. Retreating with family, reflecting, recording music. A real musician does that, what these other “men” would/will do, I have no idea. Again, I have my suspicions.

Godspeed Warren…save me a seat in Hell you wise assed son of a bitch…

spk