Jesus and the ATM…

I did not have an adequate answer to his
inquiry, “Didn’t you see that I was waiting
for the ATM?” I did not have an adequate
answer, so I did not respond the first time
he asked me. I did not have an adequate
answer, so I could not respond the second time
he asked either. If he had asked again, I
would not have had answer. I was not ignoring
him behind smoky self absorption. I just did
not have an answer. I did not have an answer
because I did not do anything wrong. I did not
purposely cut in front of him, I did not usurp
his place in line at the ATM. He was waiting
behind the tinted, heated windows of his large
gas guzzling MAN truck. The line for the ATM
was 20 feet from the driveway where his truck
was parked. I did not even know there was
anyone in the truck. I could not have known
if he was waiting for the ATM machine,
preparing a sealed deposit envelope, smoking
a fatty or making plans to invade Idaho.
I could not have known because I am
not a member of the Mind Readers Society of
America. Most days, I barely know what is
going on in my own mind, let alone that
which is going on in the mind of someone
sitting in a running, heated automobile staring
at the world from behind tinted windows.
If I could read minds, it is quite likely
I would have sensed his irritation, sensed
that I had inadvertantly wounded him in some way
and I would have let him use the ATM before I did.
I am a patient man. I was not rushing anywhere.
I rarely rush to or for anything. I could easily
spare the 20-30 seconds involved in completing
the average ATM transaction. I guess he is
very important, could not spare the time and
I trammled irreverently upon the
mighty principle of the matter.

As I get back in the car, I see the reason.
Jesus Saves. Jesus is Lord.
Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
Damned Christians. He can probably recite
name, number and verse of obscure Biblical
references to justify anything he does in
life. He got the power of Jesus behind him.
He has turned his life over to the Lord, but
he is still a damned fool. He reads his
Holy Bible front, back and sideways. He still
does not get it. He goes to Bible study every
Wednesday, Sunday school, regular church services,
potluck dinners, rummage sales, bake sales,
leads a youth outreach ministry, tithes ten
and prays every night before bed. He still
does not get it. He knows shit about Jesus. If
he knew anything about Jesus, he would remove
the stupid bumper stickers from his truck and
stop parading his faith around town like a
hooker showing shining wares of thigh and ass.
If he knew anything about his Lord, he would
cease the empty posing and practice. Practice
turning the other cheek. Practice forgiving
those that sin against him. Practice doing
unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Practice humility instead of hubris.

This world is in pretty rough shape when a
heathenous, surely going to Hell or worse,
cursing, potty mouthed, non-believer
like myself has to tell a devout Christian
brother to behave more like Jesus and
less like an arrogant, overbearing asshole,
less like an uptight, middle aged asshole,
less like a the world revolves around
me and only my asshole.

Remember…
Jesus may love assholes like you,
but, He loves the rest of us too.
That’s just the kind of God He is.

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