FEAR!

I’m selling fear today people!
I’m selling FEAR today!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

That’s right man.

Fear Mother Nature
she’s coming this way hurricane like and she’s
in a bad fucking mood!

Fear the black man he drag you from car and shoot you!

Fear air conditioners falling from high rise!
Death from above the headline say!

Fear candles! They fire and fire dangerous!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

Fear on the five o’clock, six o’clock, ten o’clock, eleven o’clock news and if that’s not enough they have 24 hours of fear on several news networks!

Fear donuts!

Fear women…they have the power to control you!

Fear red meat! Yer heart’ll explode!
Fear so bad you scared to walk out yer door!

Fear diet soda! It’ll make you fat too!

Fear the damned young people with they rebellion and life gustos!

Fear gay people! If they touch you, you get gay too!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

Fear this disease, that disease. Fear the bugs they is getting savvy and the medicines no work!

Fear the Muslim he give you TNT enema!

Fear big city it wild and brutal! Fear small town it dead and un-resurrected like Judas!

Fear guns! Well…this a good fear to me. People kill people, but guns make it too easy. I would give every criminal a salami. It would take a lot to bludgeon someone to death with a salami.

Fear old people! They poop themselves and get smelly like mothballs!

Fear Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, Bermuda Triangle and Roswell crash site!

Fear fat! Fear carbohydrates! Fear hydrogenated vegetable oil! Fear everything you eat!

Fear the air you breathe and water you drink!

Fear dark night and your unlocked doors!

Fear the Hispanic man! He growing big in new Census!

Fear urban myth hook hand hatchet carrying boogie man!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

Fear the cops! No man…I really mean this one…Fear the cops…They have guns and are poorly trained! This is a worthy fear to partake of in a deep manner.

Fear the immigrants! Unless of course they mowing your lawn or cleaning your toilet or picking up your trash or washing your baby’s smelly ass…

Fear getting out of bed, driving to work, walking to school, going to store for bread and whiskey!

Fear salt!

Tie me off and shoot me with my fear dose from the government!

Fear poor people! They gonna sink the ship! Put them to work cleaning toilets!

Fear the coming new Ice Age! Fear asteroid BOOM!

Fear expiration dates on foods! Old food’ll kill ya!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

Fear exploding tires on new SUVs!

Fear restaurants! Grocery stores! Donut shops! They all got vermin what poops everywhere!

Fear conspiracies!

Fear USA! Another worthy fear if you Third World and on the wrong side of the table this week! Or if your France…

Fear earthquakes and California falling into the ocean!

Fear the wise Orientals, they smart, getting smarter, and wanna date yer daughter!

Fear another day when the earth stops spinning!

FEAR HERE!
GETCHER FREE FEAR HERE!

Free fear…free fear…free fear…free fear…and all these fears are worthless…and all these fears are distracting us…Distracting us from the things we should fear:

The cops, the guns,
the cops with the guns
the cops with the guns that work for
the government that tells us to fear everything.

They’re scared we gonna find out who we should really be scared of
and we should really be scared of them
and that’s why they got the most guns.